If possible, I want to eat noodle soup everyday.  This is the perfect weather for it.  Nothing beats the chilly cold air outside more than a warm bowl of noodle soup to warm us up.  I've been craving bun rieu for weeks now but crab paste stock has been sold out from all the local stores (close to me).  Either everyone is eating bun rieu today OR that the new shipment hasn't arrive on the West Coast yet.  I went to 4 stores in Chinatown and was lucky enough to find one that has it.  I wanted to grab a few, fearing this might be all that's left for a while, but like all asian grocers, it's 'cash only' and I got 5 bucks in my pocket !!!  Grrrr !  but at least I got one.  I am very picky about the crab paste and have tried a few brands.  This PANTAI brand is the best as the flavor is strong and similar to what I remember rock crabs taste like.  If you don't have this brand around, you might need to tweak my recipe a bit to get the desired taste.

My next issue is, I couldn't located rau muong or 'kinh gioi' or banana flower today either :( I don't have time to go to a Viet. supermarket and I want bun rieu for dinner tonight !  Nothing is going to stop me from having my bun rieu.  I'm going to have to substitute the veggies and opt out of the some garnish :(

(Update:  I think there's a global shortage on this crab paste because in 2016, the price for a jar is around $10 and it's so hard to locate it) 

In this recipe, I'll list what I supposed to use and what I supplemented it with !  The main soup stock is what makes this good and I got all the ingredients for it so it'll do for today :)

Talk about stock, first you need pork stock and/or chicken stock (carton or can stock is OK, opt for low sodium ones)

To make the pork stock:

• 3-4 lb of any type of pork or chicken bones or pork ribs, 
• Water
• 1 white onion, halved
• Put bones into a deep pot, fill with water (cover the bones).  Bring to boil and let it boil for 5 min then remove from stove.
• Transfer the pork bones into a colander to cool down.  Rinse bones thoroughly under tap water.  This is to get rid of all the scums and give you clear broth.
• Add the bones back into the pot, add white onion and add about 4 Litres of water (~17 cups).
• Bring to boil then turn heat on low and let it simmer for at least an hour (the longer the better)
• When done, remove all the bones and onions and use the stock as per recipe. 
  
  (*If there's meat on the bones you can remove and add it to your bowl of soup if you like.  If using ribs, you can use leave it as is)

BUN RIEU CUA recipe (serves 6)

INGREDIENTS:

- 16 cups of pork stock or chicken stock (carton or can is ok)
- 8-9 tomatoes, cut into 4
- 1.5 lb lean ground pork
- 2 + 5 heaping tablespoon of crab paste (total 7 table spoons) in soy bean oil (discard the oil on top as it makes the soup too oily). I ONLY use the Pantai brand, it's the best one I've tried.  You can add less or more to your liking.  If you try other brands, you will need to experience with it to find the right flavor and texture you like.
- 4 eggs
- 1 pack of tofu puff (optional)
- 4 cloves of garlic, smashed
- 2 tablespoon of finely minced shallot (white onion is ok)
- 1 teaspoon of shrimp paste (the purple color kind, very pungent so use sparingly :) while you need only a little of this, this ingredient I feel is a MUST HAVE as it add that shrimpy taste to the broth.
- fish sauce for taste (Viet Huong 3 Crabs or Red Boat brand are best, I can't stress it enough)
- 1 table spoon of Knorr chicken powder (it's like chicken broth powder, this is not bouillon, don't use chicken bouillon, that's totally different.  If you don't have this then just omit)
- a table spoon of cane sugar or organic sugar
- 2 loosely measured teaspoons of tamarind powder
- ground pepper
- 2-3 packs of vermicelli, you can use these or the thick vermicelli

* IF you are not a fan of ground pork, try ground turkey !  We use ground turkey all the time.  Sometime I add Vietnamese ham (cha lua) as topping to this noodle soup.

Rau muong (ong choy), yu choi (ONLY if you can't find ong choy and need to have some greens) , kinh gioi and banana flower blossoms

GARNISH:

- 3 stalks of green onions
- a handful of cilantro
- rau muong (ong choy in Chinese) or water spinach (you can substitute with spinach and if desperate like me, ong choy works too)
- thinly sliced banana flower blossoms
- vietnamese herb 'kinh gioi'
- fresh chillies


COOKING INSTRUCTIONS

- In a deep pot, bring the pork stock (or chicken stock) to a boil

- While waiting for that to boil, in a large bowl, combine into a paste:  ground pork, 2 table spoons of crab paste, 1 egg (beaten), shallot, about 1 table spoon of fish sauce, couple dash of pepper.

- When the stock boils, using a spoon, scoop the meat mixture and drop into the boiling stock.

- When finished with the meat, in another pot, put in the vermicelli, cover it with water and bring to boil.  Test for doneness by breaking a string of vermicelli.  If it breaks easy, it's done.  Remove from stove, pour into colander and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking process.  Leave aside.

- Mix well together the other 4-5 table spoons of crab paste with the remaining 3 eggs in a bowl.  Turn down the broth pot so it's simmering, not boiling.  Slowly pour the crab paste into the pot.  The paste will forms into fluffy orange clumps (supposed to resemble crab roe) and will float to the top as it cook.  Don't mix or break a part the crab paste clumps and don't stir the pot. 

- In a pan, put in a bit of oil, add the garlic and stir until fragrant, then add the tomatoes.  Cooks for about 4-5 min.  Transfer the tomatoes into the stock pot.  Gently stir because you don't want to break up the crab paste.

- Cut tofu puff into 2 and add to the pot

- Add in the shrimp paste

- Add the cane or organic sugar

- Add tamarind powder

- Add in the chicken powder

- Season the stock with fish sauce (I used about 3 tablespoons in mine)

Thinly sliced ong choy, lots of work but add a nice crunch

SERVING:

- Put noodles into a bowl
- Scoop up the meat, tofu and tomatoes and divide into each bowl
- Put a couple stalks of boiled yu choy or ong choy (if using) into each bowl
- Ladle in soup stock (noodles should submerge in the soup)
- Sprinkle with thinly sliced green onions and cilantro
- Put a small dish of fish sauce with sliced red chili out on table for those who wants more sodium :)
- Put the banana flower blossoms and kinh gioi on a plate so guest to add to their bowl

In the summer, when I get hold of a fresh bunch of rau muong, ong choy, I would thinly slice it down length wise and each thin strip would curl up like ribbons.  We would pile these raw ong choy strips in our bowl.  They add a nice crunch to this soup.  If you don't like them raw, you can dip in the broth pot for a few seconds to cook them.

Since I can't find any ong choy this time, I used yu choy and wilted them in boiling water first before I add it to my bowl of noodles.  I don't think they taste very good raw !  You can use spinach too.  Spinach would have been a better substitution but I got none !


Enjoy !

I love bread.  I think I might love it more than chocolate !  Crusty white bread dipping in Longevity condense milk is my weakness.  If I could, I would have it for breakfast every day.  There's something beautiful about biting into fresh baked bread, crispy crust and warm fluffy chewy dough inside, each bite is pure bliss. 

Fresh baked bread is hard to come by.  I can never make it early enough to the bakery and even if I did, by the time I get home, it's no longer warm.  We have a bread maker but the bread it produced is too much like sliced bread and I wanted something like a baguette, something rustic !  So the other night while craving bread, I did some googling around and found a recipe by Jim Lahey, owner Sullivan Street Bakery.  I like the basic ingredients and at first glance, it looks easy enough for me to do.  His recipe got me at "No Knead" !  My heart sang when I saw those words.  I have always wanted to make my own bread but I dread all the kneading work that goes into it :-/  now there's no stopping me :-)

Without further adieu, here's the recipe and pictures of how it went down for us:

Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, more for dusting (I used half white and half whole wheat organic all purpose flour)           
• ¼ teaspoon instant yeast (I used active yeast as it's all I have and it worked fine) 
• 1 ¼ teaspoons salt
• 1 1/2 cup of lukewarm water           

          

Preparation

In a large bowl combine flour, yeast and salt. Add water, and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky.  It will look like a sloppy mess but don't worry !  Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at warm room temperature, about 70 degrees.

the girls wanted to help !  they had great fun with measuring and mixing !  A lot of the flour mixture got on Love but I quickly asked her the stand up so I can shake all the flour back on the bowl !  dion't want to throw the measurement off :) 

Dough is ready when its surface is dotted with bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it; sprinkle it with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice.  I wet my hand to prevent sticking and gently shape the dough into a ball. I did knead it a few more times :-)  It feel strange not to spend more time on it !  It can't be this easy, can it ?

I put the dough onto a sheet of parchment paper (to prevent sticking), then put it in a bowl, cover the top with a cotton towel and let rest for another 2 hours. When it is ready, dough will be more than double in size and will not readily spring back when poked with a finger.

I prepared the dough after dinner and let it sleep undisturbed until next morning !  Ok I did check in twice :)  I can't help it, I was very excited to see the transformation  and outcome !  The result did not disappoint.  It's wonderful.

At least a half-hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Put a 6- to 8-quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic, or stainless steel pot WITH NO plastic sides or handle) in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Lift the parchment sheet up, with the dough inside, into the pot. Shake pan once or twice if dough is unevenly distributed; it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 to 30 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack.

*  I divided my dough into 2 as I don't have a big enough pot.  The bread in the pot turned out well, it rises higher and the top crust has the rough rustic look (left side on the top pic.).  The bread in the Pyrex covered with aluminum foil (the lid for it is not oven safe) turned out just as good, just flatter and the top crust is more smooth, rounded.  The crust crackles and crunches with each bite, and the inside is soft and chewy and airy.  The bread tastes heavenly ! 

If you never made bread at home before, I highly suggest you try this recipe out.  It's so easy to do. The girls and I prep the dough in less than 5 min.  When we placed the dough in the oven, we waited outside the glass, staring at the dough, watching them rise and turning into golden breads.  Then they filled our house, inhabited every room, with their wonderful toasty sweet aroma.  Hubby got out of bed to see what we're up to and what's responsible for the nice smell.  It was a delightful experience for all of us.  We will definitely make this again and again.

Had a short work day today so once I got home I thought I work on some stocking stuffer coupons for Bee and C.  Coupons are easy to make, inexpensive, and fun to give :)  You can choose to be creative or simple.  The best part is that you can personalize each coupon !!!  At our house, they proved to be very popular (favorite) with my hubby.  He even tried to use the same coupon twice !!!  I usually make one book for C every year but it's my first time making a coupons book for Bee this year.  We'll see how she respond when she check her stocking come Christmas morning.

I try to make each coupon unique and special as I really want Bee and hubby to enjoy them !  For C, I know he appreciates some alone time to play his musical instruments, sleep in on Saturday (who doesn't ?), movie date, and no chore day, so his coupons tends to tailored to what I know he would really like.  I also included a coupon for a day trip to a location of his choice.  Bee likes different activities and outings so I made her coupons to include field trip, snowman building, candy treat, swimming, a sleepover at a hotel (she loves sleeping at hotel (she associates it with pool = plenty of swimming time)) and I gave some blank ones to C to fill out for her (I saw he wrote a coupon for a brunch date with him :)

I'm in love with this wood round center piece (from our friend's wedding).  The wood & greeneries are simply beautiful.

I made Bee's coupons book's cover with picture of My Little Ponies.  She loves them !  I wanted to use a picture of each pony on her coupon but there weren't many quality winter theme images so I stuck with Christmas theme.  They're quite cute !!!  For C I used pictures of Forever Friends' teddy bear !  I drew him one in my art class back in 1994 (with Chinese characters as I was obsess with all things Chinese then !  my cassette tapes were filled with songs from Andy Lau, Leon Lai, Jacky Cheung & Aaron Kwok).  It was my first gift to C which he framed it up on his room then and now it's in Bee's room.  I thought it's nice to revisit the memory of that bear again.

Here are the pdf files of the designs I made.  Feel free to print and make your own coupons book.  Enjoy !

CHRISTMAS COUPON PRINTOUTS < this folder has the cute cartoons and the forever friends teddy bear coupons

 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him
shall not perish but have eternal life.

Every year when December arrives, I get nostalgic thinking about all Christmases passed.  We didn't have much growing up and decoration for the tree is just mainly lights and fluffed up cotton balls that my brother and I put all over the tree so it looks like snow.  Under those twinkling lights, my brother and I would dance from one end of the room to the other while my mom and grandma smiles at us, encouraging us to dance some more.  There aren't many gifts, just one each to be exact, from my mom, and a couple dollars from my grandma.  I don't remember what gifts we received over the years, but what I remember though, we were happy.  We were happy just to be in each other's presence.  I looked back fondly at all the tree and house decorating times with mom and brother, and memories of my lovely grandma, grinning from ear to ear over a soap box or a chantilly gift set she gets each year. She's always so thankful.  It was wonderful.

It was never about the gift, we didn't have much, but we were filled over with love and laughter and warmth.  It's the time we spent together that stuck with me.  It's those moments that lives on.

In recent years, with the additional of kids, we've received many cards and gifts from families and friends come Christmas time.  We feel blessed for them.   Every year I would watch the kid/kids ripped furiously through boxes and boxes of presents on Christmas morning.  The joy it seems, as though to be in the unwrapping of presents, of ripping up paper.  They do like and play with the toys too, but after like a week, they moved on to something else.  No toy ever was a "favorite" for long.  Witnessing all these, I desire to make Christmas not about just stuff for our kids.  The reason of the season is to celebrate Christ's birth, thankful for His gift of love.  These few days of holiday for us before the year end give us time to be together, to spend with family and friends !  I love sharing meals with them and discuss the world while the children run around, laughing, giggling, and crying !   Those are special times.  I hope our kids embrace those time and also our family traditions !  I hope happy memories will live on in our kids, like how it was with me,.... trim the tree, bake cookies, count down to Christmas day, fill the shoebox, pray for the snow...

Our kids might be too young to fully appreciate the gesture of the person who bought them their Christmas gifts, but I try my best to explain to them so they understand how special it is to be thought of, and to receive a gift, any gift.  I find kids are a bit self centered naturally :)  Everything is "me" and "mine" !  It's a life long practice, the attitude of gratitude, it doesn't come over night or a month or a year.  At 35 I'm still practicing to be grateful !  it does come easier with practice, that I can assure you.  The more we appreciate what we have, the less the "want", the less we feel the need to keep up, or to prove ourselves or others...it's a very healthy mindset.  A grateful heart is a happy heart !

I made some stockings for us and Bee helped me with the fuzz balls decoration.  Inspired by our Hungry
Caterpillar craft time !  Those fuzz balls are quite fun to work with.

Our homemade count down mailbox !  When the "Open Me" arm is up, it signaled Bee to check
the mailbox.  Some day there's treat in there for her and Lovebug, some day there's an invite
for cookie baking or book reading.  I try to be creative :)

I'm not a kid person.  Before being a mom I (choose to) spend very little time around the wee ones.  I have no interest in baby.  Unlike my 2nd cousin Cynthia, who loves and adores baby.  She would squeals at the sight of a baby, would ask to hold them, would ask if it's ok to kiss them, and would ooh and ahh and cooo over them.  I'm the opposite of all of that.  I held maybe 2 or 3 babies (before my own) in my life and it's because the parents insisted I try to hold them (saying that they're helping to train me to be a mom).  I don't dislike or like kids, just indifferent to them.

When Bee came into our life, she was the prettiest little thing to me.  She's my precious.  Then Lovebug came, and my heart grew larger.  She's exquisite.  I love looking at my girls, cuddling with them, talking to them, and the best part, kissing them.  Oh I'm addicted to my kids.  Our girls add hours of entertainment into our lives.  The things Bee said to me some time make me laugh for days on after.  Our kids also make us think, make us give full attention to the little things, make us brave (I touch a spider with my bare hand !!!), and make us feel like superman/woman. Their hugs and their kisses are very addictive.  I go back for more each time.  Our kids teach us to enjoy the ordinary thing in life, like a rock or the flight of a bird.

However, being the wonderful kids they are, they do come with some quirks  !!!   Somewhere in my head (before kid), I pictured them sitting quietly sipping milk and gently playing with their toys.  How naive.  KIDS ARE SO LOUD  !  and smelly (ugh, solid in diaper, nuff said), and hyper and loud, and jumpy and indecisive and sneaky and demanding and they test you and push the limits all.the.time.  They cry when they're happy and when they're sad and just because.  Our home is a chaotic battle field and we, "the judges", must ensure that all is always fair, or else there will be lots and lots of tears.

People often commended me on all the activities I do with my girls !  I get the "you're such a fun mom" comment a lot.  Little do they know, doing activities, whether it's craft or art, reading or playing games, out in the garden or at a park, they are done to help me keep my sanity while entertaining the girls !  they help our little energizer bunnies to have a focal point to focus all their energy on !  instead of pulling on my pants, my hair, my arm, hanging on my shoulder, my leg, or jumping on me and see if they will stick !!  And not all activities are a hit with the kids.  They will alter stories, make up things and expect me to do something about it. What am I ?  a puppet ?  Aish !  One can't deny their children of their creativities.  So it goes, we're always up to something :) for everyone's benefit !

In addition to the family activities, there're always work awaiting for us parents !  toys to clean up, clothes to pick up, laundry to do (there's always so much laundry), dishes to clear/clean, tables to wipe, snacks to prep, milk to pour, hands to wash, nose to clean, bodies to bathe, bums to wipe, etc. and the never ending conversation regarding their development, health concerns, bad habits, what they like/don't like, and on and on it goes. 

I head into being a mom some what prepare for hard physical labor work, and that, I can say now, is the easy part.   It's the mental and emotional work that I didn't expect, along with all the hormonal stuff !!!  I find I'm always looking for the common factors that work for me, them, us, our family as a whole.  The challenges we face change through season !  but they don't end :)  we will be mom and dad our whole life.  That title isn't for the faint at heart  :)  I must say though, that I have a better handle on things now than before.  I learning and getting to know my kids by listening to them, watching them, talking and playing with them.  The more we know our kids the better problem solver we become.  I can identify by the sound of Love's cry if it's for comfort, sleepy or for attention.  We gained so many skills over these past few years.  

Our days are unpredictable and some days are so bad we feel like a failure. If the thought of "what did I get myself into?" flashes across your mind, it's OK !  Just remember it's temporary pain :). Remove yourself from the situation, take a min. out alone and breathe.  If you lost it, forgive yourself and carry on.  All moms have one of those day and when the screaming and tears stop flowing, a smile, a giggle from the little ones will make all awesome again.  We're all going through learning pain together, you and your kids.  Not complaining here, just simply sharing the thoughts of a mom.  I hope it doesn't turn off those who's planning for kid/s or parent-to-be or new parents !

Some day Mr. C and I feel like we're running a relay race.   It's a whirlwind of one activity after another.  We each are an activity station for the kids and when one is exhausted, heaving for oxygen, the baton gets handed over to the other.  Our ultimate goal is to drain all the energy from the kids but sometime, most time, it's us that go down first !  some day we bribe and beg the kids to go to sleep.

Our days are eventful until the kids are tucked in bed.  Then we hold each other and talk about how cute they are and the things they said.  We would kiss them til our heart is content.  My 4 yr. old doesn't give out enough kisses :(  Kids are a lot of work but nothing great and worth while come easy right ?  I ingrained that fact in me and it helped me to be more accepting and relax/chill a bit !  C and I know all these are temporary and as each day, week, month, year passed, the kids will grow independently from us and no longer they will fight over who hug us first or kiss us the most.

And when that day come, we will miss them and we will long for days like today !  Loud, messy, and silly !   It's important to look for joy in our everyday.  Whenever other parents tell me "enjoy them !  they go by fast", I know exactly what they mean.

Jeremiah 17: 7, 8 “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water and sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

The girls wanted to do some finger painting and I just finally picked up some food coloring the day before so it was perfect timing.  My eager helpers and I set out to make some home made paint !  10 min. of taking turns stirring the mixture, rearranging (they like to rearrange things) the paper plates lay out, and debating over what color we should have, we settled on 5 colors:  blue, green, red, purple, and yellow.  We divided the mixture onto each plate, put a drop or two of food coloring on top and the girls take turn mixing the color in.  It was nice seeing all the swirls of colors.

The kids had a great time playing with the paint !  squishing paint between fingers, drawing on paper, painting on paper, and then they took their kitchen toys out and pretend they're cooking with them.  There were drops of gooey color all over the floor, table, and their aprons.  It's very very messy but oh so much fun !  I was mushing them on my fingers too.  It's like playing with sticky goo :)  We make a lot of messies around here :D  Anything fun will come with some kind of mess !  The kids love it and I love it.  The best part about this is that, cleaning is just as easy as making it !  you can wipe the paint off all surfaces with a damp cloth and all is nice and all is good again.

For this safe-to-eat paint, you will need corn starch, cold water, boiling water, and food coloring.  1/2 cup of corn starch, about 1/4 cup of cold water, and depending on how you like the paint texture to be, any where between 1 1/2 cup of boiling water to 2 cups.  Although the paint is safe to ingest, I still discourage the kids to put in their mouth.  I rather them think that paint is not food :D

Instructions:

Non cook method:

1. put 1/2 cup of cornstarch into a measuring cup
2. pour in 1/4 cup of cold water on top of the starch - DON'T MIX it just yet.  Just gently swirl the hand whisk around, for the water to mix in with the TOP LAYER of the starch, the bottom should be dry still.
3. slowly pour in 1/2 cup of boiling water in (it should immediately thicken up the liquid), with the hand whisk, slowly mix all the starch into the water.  Pour in another 1/2 cup of boiling water and mix around, make sure you get all the dry starch at the bottom.  It's very thick and uneven texture right now but it's just temporary.  Pour in another 1/2 cup of boiling water in and mix well.  Repeat this with the rest of the boiling water.  It should slowly loosen up and turn into a translucent smooth jelly like consistency.
4. divide mixture into individual containers (or paper plates) and add food coloring to each.  Use a paint brush to mix the color around.

Cook method:

Another way to do this is to mix 1/2 cup of corn starch with 1 1/2 cup of cold water in pot.  Put the pot on the stove, turn heat on to medium and continuously stir the mixture around until it reached your desired consistency.  If too thick, add more water and stir well.

Enjoy !

It's day 2 without the ipad.  I didn't notice anything on day 1 as I was a bit busy with the kids and after putting them to sleep I fell asleep shortly after !  usually this is the time I'm on the ipad checking up on emails and fb and reading a variety of things.

While waiting for the pot of water to boil so I can start cooking my vietnamese sweet/sour fish soup for dinner,  I had to stop the urge of wanting to use the ipad.  By habit, I went to grab it, then I remembered what I'm trying to do so I put it down.  Everything can wait.

What I noticed about me (from being disconnected less) during this withdrawal time is, whenever I have some free time, I'm plugged in the net :(  I'm reading news, articles, scriptures, responding to posts/comments, and shopping.  They are not bad activities, they just consume a lot of time, time I already don't have too much of.   However, taking some time off, made me realized that I overload myself with both useless/useful information and the cycle starts again after I wake up.  Like a machine, I spend a lot of time "downloading" and have very little time "processing" them.  All these time on the net and I must say it added very little beneficial qualities to my life.  Many of them are just distractions, fruitless entertainment, aimed to keep my brain busy.  What I really need is less brain activities !  I need quiet down time to reflect and pray.  To examine, to give thoughts in my daily plan, and to pay attention to where God is leading me.  Because my life is so hectic, I need to spend more time with the One who knows my tomorrows, my source of wisdom and who is my strength.

Tonight 5 min. into story time and Bee was out, shortly after Lovebug followed.  While they were sleeping I kiss them repeatedly.  Hubby wanted to hold them a little bit longer before taking them to their bed (which is next to our bed :)  I must say night time is the happiest time of my day.  Us four snuggling in bed together, giggling, talking, listening to Bee praying.  Such sweet time.

Usually after they sleep I would go online and check emails & messages and do some reading.  Keeping to my goal of using the ipad less, I've added a few more hours of sleep the past 2 nights which I'm sure my body and brain are very thankful for.  So far so good !