Pastor J was sharing about Godly Men in church yesterday.  A very insightful topic.  I wish he write a blog about it because he bought up so many interesting points about men and women.  During the sermon, I was reminded again that men are linear thinker and task oriented, while women are relational thinking and multi-tasker.  For a long while I was getting pretty annoying with my husband's inability to read my thoughts.  Seriously, how could he not know ?  He doesn't know because you didn't tell him, a little voice inside of me pointed out the obvious.  Blah.

So, a man wants a teammate.  Someone to play along side them, to support them and their goals.  This is indeed very true !  We've been married for more than 10 years now !  we tread difficult waters without knowing these little know facts (linear vs multi-tasker) the first few years.  If only we are aware of it like we are now, it would save us lots of headache and heartache.

My husband loves sharing his plans to me.  Even when I'm so sleepy, he would nudge me til I'm awake to share with me his personal goals, our financial plan, plans for our house, our garden, our kids, our next week, our next month, our summer goal, our winter goal, our church goals...I just thought C has something like A.D.D (attention deficit disorder) so he has to make plans to keep himself focused.  Who knew !

While having lunch, I was thinking about what makes a good team mate ?  am I a good teammate ?  I surely can't answer that so I asked C.  In his words "off course.  why would I marry you if you're not ?", "but what makes you think I would be a good teammate to you ?" I asked.  "You love God and you love people, so then I knew."  "That's it ?"   "That's all" he said.

Totally NOT what I was hoping to hear.  I was hoping for stuff like, your great sense of humor, fun, good personality, happy demeanor, secure, etc.....  Hmmmm......BUT even though his answer is short,  after giving it more thought, some how I get it.  I get it.  Mr C knew he wanted me to be his team mate because of my love for Jesus.  Because it secured a few important things for him (when I probe more at him later), common faith goals, marriage commitment, life goals and tithe.  What is important to C, is important to me, so that makes me a good team mate in his eyes.  However, that doesn't mean we will play well together.  All the other stuff helps us to make that decision !  you know stuff like we're attracted to each other, we talk, we date, we fight, we learn about each other, we learn to fight nice, we learn to love.

We were so different then, in our teens.  High school was stressful.  We were trying to figure ourselves out, learning about ourselves and trying to find ourselves.  But we made a commitment to stick together through our growing years.  We weren't the perfect person for the other when we first dated, but over the years, we can see God transforming both of us, little by little, into a perfect partner to each other.  We're not perfect in all aspects, but we've come a long way from the start.  This year marked our 21 years together !

We are still changing and growing.  And growth is good right ?  It take sometime to adjust and we will bicker over it ! Learning curve is never fun.

Talk about learning curve, 3 weeks ago, hubby was complaining to me about me !  about me not closing the cabinet doors.  He said, "you know it's not you I complain about right ?  it's your habit.  I'm only saying this because it bothered me and stressed me out.  And because you love me, can you please do something about it !"

This isn't the first time C asked me to close the cabinets.  I have the habit of leaving any cabinet door I opened open.  I DON'T KNOW WHY I don't close them.  Lazy ?  Forgetful ?  I don't know.  *sigh*  I open, I forget, I move on :(  I'm constantly multi-tasking !

Any who, usually i would just wave it off, thinking it's not big deal, he's just complaining for the heck of it.  Then I would end it by saying something in the line of "its my house too, I like to leave them like that".  It's kitchen cabinet doors for goodness sake !  they got nothing on us.  We're good. 

That's where I'm wrong < it's hard for me to even type that word, because I'm so often right :-)  But I shouldn't disregard my husband's comment.  He's telling me his feeling.  He's sharing how my carelessness (because I didn't think much of it) is causing him distress.  What seems trivial to me is NOT to him.  And I need to respect that. 

I can see that he is really stress at the sight of doors open when they're supposed to be closed.   OCD ?  maybe ?  but what's is important is, I should know, no, actually, I do know, I just choose to ignore.  C is Mr. Clean, Mr. Organize !  Sight of clutter stresses him out, I know that.  I like clutter.  I can be in a hoarder's house sipping tea and feeling just fine.  While C will die just at the sight !

I really didn't know opened doors annoyed him that much.  I know, it's because I never fully listen.  I heard him now.  I can't guarantee that I will always close the doors, but I decided that I will make the effort to close them.  If one do it many times it'll stick right ?  how many time does it take to train a habit again ?   Closed door = smiling happy C !  I can do this.

This is just one example of no matter how healthy you think relationship is, there's always room for improvement, room to grow .  Marriage is like a garden, it needs care and tendering. For me, the word "teammate" conjures up an image of 2 volleyball players playing along side with each other.  Each taking turn with the lead and assistant role, depending on their strength and weakness, we each cover for each other.  We communicate, we ask for help when needed.  Our plans and goals have to the same to win.  That's kind a how I pictured my marriage.  2 different players with common goals.  We're team mate and we got each other's back.

I must admit that C rubs off a lot of his "orderly" ways on me.  While I "inspire" him to wear slim jeans, colorful shirts, eat kale...While we are alike in many ways, we are still different in many ways too !  We don't lose ourselves in each other.  We each are unique individual.  We're not done "growing" yet though, as we are now parents of 2 lovely.but.crazy kids, there are many challenges ahead of us and it will test our patience with our kids and each other.  But we got God as the center of it all, and that common denominator will keep us together.

As God is shaping our heart, He also uses each of us to shape each other.  Go team Truong !

We were out swimming today and while in the kiddie pool, Bee happily informed me:

Bee:  Mommy, I peed !  (big smile on her face)
Me:  Oh NO !!!  we don't pee in the water.
Bee:  NO I don't (shake her head rapidly).  I peed in my pants (pointing down) !

She was really proud that she peed in her pants and not in the water :-)

I was just glad there's no urine indicator dye in the pool !

We have got some gorgeous days here near the coast.  I got a day off so I spent it having a tea party out in our yard with the girls !  It was fun getting all dressed up and running around. 

Lovebug broke one of my fine china.  It's a pretty one too.  She's a baby, I should know better not to trust her holding 2 !  She banged them together and right when I stopped her, she managed to squeeze in another bang and one broke :-(

Morning came and Bee shot me an accusing look.  The look of "you're working today aren't you?".  She dislike me going to work.  She would say to me every morning "I love your so much.  Can you stay home with me ?  You stay home now ?".  I told her I have to go to work, to pay for our home, to help people, and so that we can do all the things she likes.  Like clock work, she would say "But I don't want you to.  I want you to stay home with me.  But I love you so much".

Before being a mom, I heard of other mothers telling me how hard it was for them to go to work.  I never fully understood it until recent of late.  Until Bee tells me how much she loves me to stay home with her.  I feel guilty working (not too much, but a bit, and that bit is enough to cause an ache my heart).

So, today, since I have some payroll info. to complete, I decided to take Bee to work with me.  She was so so so happy.  I can see her eyes light up.  She asked me again "I'm coming to work with you ?".  She then snuggled up next to me and whispered "I love you mommy.  You're my best friend" and we just lay there like that for a while, holding on to each other.  It's not out of the norm.  We do that every day.  It's our every morning routine.  She would get out of her bed (located beside our bed) and crawl into ours and ask me "Can you hold me mommy?".  And we would cuddle like for as long as we can until Love wake up and budge in to break us a part.  And even then I hold Love on one side while still holding Bee on the other.   

Bee likes the sky train ride to work.  She asked A LOT of questions (why no one drive the train, how the doors open and close, etc).  I like her inquiring mind.  She's on a good path.

It was nice showing Bee around and watching her shyly telling my colleagues that she's 4.  Once we did our greetings round, I sat her down in my office, gave her some paper and sharpies to draw with and commenced on the work I didn't get to the day before.  She drew me many pictures and we posted them up.  She was proud of her art work as was I.

 

After my work, we went out for Bon (cinnamon bun > we call it Bon :)  followed with a trip to the eye doctor for me, some play time at the mall's water fountain and pennies throwing, and then grocery !  She was such a good sport !  We had so much fun.  She did fell asleep for a bit on the bus home but managed to wake up when we reached our stop !  I told her I can't carry her because I got heavy bags.  She told me her eyes are tired, they're sleepy, but she will try to walk home.  Walk home with me she did. 

Later that day she pulled me close to her and said to me "I love you so much.  Look, I love you this much..." and she stretched out her arms as far back as she could.  Her eyes tell me that her heart is full of love for me and she wanted me to know that.  I know.  I can feel so much love with my heart.

Words cannot express the love and joy my two girls bought me.  Their presence in my life let me have a glimpse of the love my Jesus have for me.  We each are so deeply loved. 

My daughter loves tea party !  I was never a tea party kind of gal (first one was last summer > impromptu garden party) but with my daughter insisting on having a tea party whenever she spotted our tea pot, I decided to throw her not only one but two tea parties over this past long weekend !  It's time consuming to cook, set up and clean up.  But I must say, sipping milk tea and eating a bit of everything is kind of fun and delightful !  My girl knows how to enjoy life.

I got my hubby and baby to join in too and they seems to enjoy it !  Hubby complained the small china cup is too small to hold his coffee though !!! Oh yeah, so to be exact, I'm the only one that had tea !  my daughter had milk in her tea cup and hubby had coffee :)

On Friday, our tea party consisted of thin pan cakes, blueberry muffins (recipe here), finger sandwiches (coco hazelnut butter), and fresh fruits (Bee's favorite > pears and oranges).

On Saturday we had a rather Asian themed tea party, just Bee & I this time around !  hubby and baby Love slept in !  We had some left over muffins from the day before (no way I'm baking a fresh batch back to back !), poached egg, sticky rice balls (Bee's favorite > some with seaweeds and some with grounded sesame seeds), apple slices, and seaweed strips (I don't like them so much but my 2 kids loves loves them).  Oh and yes, those are gummies bears on the tray !!!  Bee asked me to give her 5 bears so that when she finished her breakfast she can eat candies for dessert :)

If you know me at all, once I get into something I get kinda obsessed with it.  So since the beginning of summer til now, I've acquired 5 tea pots, 4 serving plates and a few cream/sugar bowls.  I don't think I need any tea pots, I need more cups !  I have about 8 mismatched set of teacups right now.  How many do I need ?  I don't know...maybe a few more :)  so I can host a tea party for friends !  and we'll wear pretty floral dresses and fancy hats ... it'll be fun !

One of my go-to table top accessories is a pot of plant !  greenery never go out of style in our house.  Twice a year I like to change it my table top for different feel and look.  Right now is a lot of wood on wood and while it's pleasing to the eyes, I like to add some color into the mix, just to jazz it up a bit !  Below are some beautifully styled tables that I looked through for inspiration.  Enjoy !

As I ponder about my week, thinking of all the people I've crossed path with, I've come to the conclusion (again) that we human are so wonderfully made.  We're complicated, simple, strange, unique, tough and fragile.  There's no replica of any of us.  Complex species we are !

People never fail to surprise me of what they're capable of.  The people whom I don't think much of (simply because I don't know them well) most always have some amazing stories to share.  I'm glad I've taken time to get to know them.  That's what I've been doing a lot lately, getting to know people, not just small talks, but ask them questions that allow me to have an idea of who they are and what mattered to them.  I'm trying not to waste my words, but make the best use of them in whatever frame of time I spent with people.  It's been an eye opening journey.

What I learned so far ?  human are capable of many of things, good and bad.  One can never say never and that anything is possible.  And as a Christian, the idea that I'm capable of anything not only makes me all the more humble knowing that I'm was wonderfully made, but it also makes me feel I need to cling more closer to my Lord because I can easily slip if I don't hold tight onto Him.  We are NOT immune to everything. 

I thought I was immune to cheesecake (I have a strong dislike for cheese & sugar > such strange concept) until I tried it.  Now it's all I think about most days.  Strawberry cheesecake.  Such a delightful combination, sweet, rich, creamy, tart...yumo !