It seems Java updates itself every week and it was so annoying I made it my mission to find a way to turn it OFF ! 

In Window XP you just have to go to Control Panel > locate Java Plug-in > click to open it > then click on the Update tab to turn it off. 

I recently upgrade my laptop to Window 7 and well, turning Java off takes a bit more work !  I took the long way, going through C: drive, Programs x86 (because my laptop is 64 bit), then Java folder and then the search for the cpl file everyone is talking about !!

1.  Go to Start and select Search
2.  Type in Javacpl.exe and press Start to commence the search
3.  When the file is found, right click on it and select Run as Administrator
4.  A Java window will come up, click on the Update tab

5.  Click to UNCHECKED the 'Check for Update Automatically' and another window will pop up:

6.  Click on Never Check, then this window will collapse
7.  Click Apply, then OK to close

Updates should not appear anymore !  I have mixed feeling about Disabling Java as I do want the latest and greatest from them.  So whenever I remember I would do a manual updates and I think you should too !  Java updates installed the lastest stable version of it (or so I'm told by them).  Well we will always need Jave so you decide what's best and convenience for you !  Enjoy !

There are few personal possessions I actually value and take care of in my life.  I should have realized the value of it when I have it, not until it's no longer readily available when I need it.  Luckily these are things so they are replacable !!!  What isn't replacable are people in our lives.  We take them for granted and when they are no longer around for us that's when we wish we cherish them more when they are around.

When we brought our house, our neighbour, June, encourages us to continously upkeep it.  Even if it's new she says, you have to do yearly maintenance so small issue doesn't become big.  June's house is over 40 years old.  Despite the years, the house is in pristine condition, inside and out.  Keeping June's advice, and being one who loves all-things building, Mr. C would walk around our house often to check up on things.  When summer comes he check into the pipes, drains, and foundation to make sure they are in good shape.  Every weekend, if not raining, he would be outside doing something for the house.  Inside the house, I keep up with our schedule of cleaning, scrubbing, wiping and dusting are being conducted.  This summer we hope to paint a fresh new layers in each of our rooms and retouch the trimmings outside.

We enjoy our house very much. We brought it because it had a lot of what we want.  It's a perfect house for us to raise our children.  We are greatful for it and we want it to continue to shelter us. By taking care of it, we're prolonging its life.

Relationships are more complicated but the same idea applies.  Whether it's love or friendship, each needs constant care and attention.  To keep it spurring forward, you need more than love, it requires time, effort, patience, kindness, understanding, acceptance, gentleness, sense of humour, a heck load of hard work and then more. Communication is key.  Don't stop talking ! Without communication you will grow apart before you know it, and by then it might be too late to mend the gap. So keep the communication channel going !

Like my husband would say to me "preventive T, preventive !  you don't want to wait until something happened then fix it.  You don't want anything to happen period.  You eliminate problem before it becomes an issue !" This can be applied to many things but I rather not tell him as I don't like that's he right too often !!!

As parents for the first time, Collin and I can't help but spoil Kaila.  It's so easy to because we're so in love with this little girl.  One smile and we'll buy her the moon.  We both have been very good managers of our money but when it comes to Kaila, all senses go out the window !!!  I'm sure many first timer can parents relate with us on this "spoil" subject !  baby stuff is so darn cute.  Also for us, because the fact that we both grow up with so little and now that we can afford it, we go all out with her.  The thing is though, at almost 2 years old, Kaila is at the discovery stage so everything is new and exciting for her and it seems that she likes EVERYTHING !!!  then in about 30 min. she's done with it and move onto other activities.

The other day, when I was watching Kaila playing in her room, for a brief slice of time I couldn't find her amongst her toys.  In a moment of shocking revelation, I see that my good intentions of wanting to encourage her to learn and play, I have overwhelmed her.  I decided I'm going to pack some toys away and re-introduce her to them later on so it'll be like a new toy for her when I take them out.  Kaila has many toys that is recommended for 3+ so we should be able to go for a year without purchasing new toys for her.  And when that time come, I want us to limit what we buy too.  Kaila understands and knows alot of things right now.  She's testing her boundaries with us everyday, over everything > eating, playing, sleeping, reading, listening.  As parents though we want to give her everything, we must NOT !  we need to teach her that she cannot have everything.  It will be a learning curve for us but we must commit to it if we don't want rotten spoiled kid !  the kinds that we see at restaurants and malls and shook our heads at !!!

I once was a poor manager of my money.  Before marrying Collin, I use to spend all of my pay cheques on clothing and shoes.   I shop every week and then stash my goods in the closet the go out again the next week hunting for more "things".  It was somewhat of an addiction.  The buying process would put me in a state of euphoria so I always feel the need of buying.  I didn't realize how bad it was until when I got married and have to confess to Collin that I'm thousands of dollars in debt.  Collin, a non-believer of debt, went throught a state of shock I'm sure as my debt is now his, ours debt !  He put me on a financial diet and we eventually paid if off !  But it was a rough ride for us as I was going through widthdrawal.  There were days where I would purposely go home early before Collin, recycle the shoes box (destroy purchasing evident) and hide the goods somewhere in the house. New clothes were stuff under the bed and drawer and sometime I doubled up clothes on the hanger so he doesn't see the new shirt.  I never lie to Collin so my justification for all these hidings was, if he doesn't ask I don't have to tell.  And when he noticed something new I would tell him, "I got them a while ago".  Which was true. 

I thought my spending habit was harmless because I pay all my bills on time, no interests were incurred.  However, I also spent alot of our money on wasteful things which can be saved up for bigger things.  Collin is really good with our money so somewhere along the way of our marriage, I pick up habits from him and slowly I shop less, say NO to things I don't really like, fight the impulse buyer's urge, shop around, etc.  I didn't stop shopping but I shop smarter.  I buy what I need more than want.  I look for deals and coupons.  And instead of feeling bummed out over an item that's not avail. I'm now happy to see money grown in my account. 

I remember reading a clip from the Wealthy Barber (personal finance books) about how important it is to acknowledge to yourself that there are things you cannot afford.  Because many people cannot acknowledge to their self that "I can't afford it", people would live outside of their mean, use their credit card or get a line of credit to buy what they want, then put themself in a debt hole that takes years and years to dig out of.  We don't want Kaila to be one of those people.  We think it's important to teach her to save and make decission with what she wants to purchase with her savings.  She needs to know that money is limited and that she will have to make a choice to buy whatever she likes now or save it for something else she really likes later.  And because kids copy their parents, we know we need to model good spending behaviour too !!!  Which we are trying and practicing everyday.

When Bee was around 19 months, one day I noticed there were holes on her 2 front baby teeth.  Within 2 days, the top part of both of the teeth broke in half.  I freaked out and we bought her into see a pediatric dentist.  She wouldn't open her mouth so the dentist couldn't do anything.  He sent us home with a brush and toothpaste.  He told us to come back when she's 2 year old.


I can't wait until she's 2, I can't wait for the cavity eat up all of the teeth, all of what's left.  I did what I know to do at such time like this, I googled "baby with cavity" !  and that's the start of me reading countless articles, mommy's posts, blogs, etc.  I was online days and nights, searching for a way to stop the bacterial from partying hard on my daughter's teeth, eating them away !!! 

With my "dentist" hat on,  I spent the next few days examining Bee's teeth :-)  After all, I'm the only one whom she would allow to see what's going on in her mouth.  After checking her teeth, I suspected that she has dental caries (tooth decay).  We do brush her teeth but only morning and night.  During the day, when she eats the most, we forgot to brush her.  All the crackers, milk (no juice), and sugar she consumed in the day coated her baby teeth and caused them to rot - my own conclusion !


Most of the sweets we consume in our house are made with organic sugar, and we don't drink juices/pop so I can only imagine how bad her teeth would be if we eat food and drink juices loaded with refined sugar from the "ose" family, like fructose, glucose, maltose, or sucrose ! 



My poor baby has rotten teeth at just barely over 1 year old.  I cried.  Hubby and I feel so bad, so guilty, so ashamed to let such thing happened to our baby.  We're bad parents :(  Our dentist consoled us, and told us this might be genetic, and perhaps lack of calcium from me (since she's exclusively breastfed) caused her teeth to be weak.  It doesn't matter !  what mattered now is that she has a decay and we need to stop it FAST !


During my "research",  I came across fluoride (controversial subject), and I'm on the fence on this topic.


Some stuff I read on fluoride:

“Dental or enamel fluorosis occurs when excess amounts of fluoride are ingested during tooth development (1-8 years of age). It is characterized by increased porosity (or hypomineralization) of the subsurface enamel and well mineralized surface layer of enamel. Mildly fluorosed enamel is fully functional, but may be cosmetically objectionable. As the severity of dental fluorosis increases, the depth of the enamel involvement and the degree of porosity increases. More severely fluorosed enamel is more porous, pitted, and discolored and is prone to fracture and wear because the well mineralized zone is very fragile to mechanical stress.”

SOURCE: Agency for Toxic Substances & Disease Registry [ATSDR]. (2003). Toxicological profile for Fluorides, Hydrogen Fluoride, and Fluorine. Atlanta, GA: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Service.


“Any use of fluorides, whether systemic or topical, in caries prevention and treatment in children results in ingestion and absorption of fluoride into the blood circulation. The mineralization of teeth under formation may be affected so that dental fluorosis may occur. Dental fluorosis reflects an increasing porosity of the surface and subsurface enamel, causing the enamel to appear opaque. The clinical features represent a continuum of changes ranging from fine white opaque lines running across the tooth on all parts of the enamel to entirely chalky white teeth. In the latter cases, the enamel may be so porous (or hypomineralized) that the outer enamel breaks apart posteruptively and the exposed porous subsurface enamel becomes discolored.”

SOURCE: Fejerskov O, et al. (1990). The nature and mechanisms of dental fluorosis in man. Journal of Dental Research 69(Spec Iss): 692-700.


I'm not a dentist but what I do know is that my daughter's 2 front side teeth both broke apart and exposed the surface underneath that once white, now are light brown/yellowish color.  Upon reading more articles on fluoride, I decided to chuck away Bee's baby toothpaste with fluoride !  She's too young for toothpaste w/fluoride anyways.  Which makes me wonder, if flouride is good for kids, why can't they swallow the toothpaste ?  I understand the different between external use and ingesting it, but either way, the fluoride is in her mouth, she is ingesting some even if she did try to spit out.  After thinking back and forth, I decided to opt out of fluoride for Bee.  It's a risk I know, but we got little to loose now !  I mean, we're been brushing with fluoride and her teeth broke in half. 


I searched for natural toothpaste and came across Xylitol.  I talked over with Bee's pediatric about the use of Xylitol toothpaste(http://altmedicine.about.com/od/teethandmouthconditions/a/Xylitol-Toothpaste.htm) instead of the usual baby tooth paste.  She told me xylitol is good, and to give it a try.  So, with that confirmation, I thought we give xylitol a shot, and monitor her teeth to see if there's any improvement.


There's xylitol and there's "xylitol" !  there needs to be sufficient amount of it in the toothpaste to make a different.  It should be listed as the main ingredient, not way down on the list.  I noticed in many baby/kids' toothpastes, they contained xylitol AND sucrose or fructose !!!!  I supposed they want to make the toothpaste appealing to kids (taste good) ?  but what's the point of cavity prevention if the toothpaste is full with sugar ?  Hum....I did more digging around and settled on Spry mint xylitol toothpaste !  it's cheaper to buy from USA so I went to vitacost.com and order 5 boxes of these brand to be shipped to my mailbox in the states.


In the few weeks after I received my toothpaste packages, I religiously brush Bee's teeth with Spry, even though she hated the taste and said it's too spicy (minty" !!!).  By month 2, she's ok with it and doesn't mind it.  I also make her rinse with sea salt water at night.  I don't know the science behind it but I remember my grandma told me that's she does it every night, to clean her teeth.  I'm desperate to save Bee's teeth so if it's natural and isn't too crazy, I'll try it !!!

When we took Bee back to the pediatric at 24 months (5 months from the first visit), she was well prepared !!!  I think all the poking around at home by me and her daddy makes her quite comfortable with opening her mouth wide and let the dentist poke her with their explorer, to check her teeth. 

I was very anxious.  I pray so hard, hoping for some good news.  And good new it is !  the dentist told us the decay are not active, and that they are stabilized.  Yay !  but before we can do our celebratory dance, they found a cavity in one of her molar !?!?!?!  And it's active !!! oh man oh man !!!  Since Bee is too young to sit in a chair for a filling, they asked if we want to put her to sleep and get that fixed.  They said they do that kind of procedure all the time, there's no need to worry.  We thought about it and feel she's too young to under go general anesthesia.  We told them NO and that we rather just monitor it until she's old enough to sit still for a filling. 


That day we went home and decided to put all of us on a candy/chocolate/cracker diet !!!  The dentist showed us Bee's molars, how they have very jagged/ridged surface.  Crackers are her worse enemy because the crumbs get stuck on there and normal brushing won't get them all out.  It's best to avoid it. 


Here we go again with fighting yucky ugly bacteria !  Stay tuned for the next chapter of Toddler Cavity fighting !!!

 

Kaila is now 1 and 1/2. She is wise beyond her years me think ! She can signs 1 1/2 (my mom's own sign language), and can say words like "yeah", "wow", "beep beep", "shhh", "ba ba", "nose", "cheese". If asked, she can point out her nose, mouth, mama, dada, Toby and ba (grandma). I often ask her to help me do the laundry. I would say "Kaila please bring your stuff for wash" and she would pick up her stuff and put in the laundry basket. It's so cute.

I feel like I can ask her anything and she would response. I think it's amazing how human develops. One day she can't barely said anything and the next morning, words would flow out of her. Well, baby language not "real" words. I wanted to teach her sign language but I think it's too late. She points out to me what she wants. If she wants to eat she'll lead me to the fridge and point at either milk or cheese or whatever fruits we have. When we're eating dinner, she would point at the food she wants to eat then look at me, open her mouth and point at it, as in "feed me". I don't see the need for sign language if she knows exactly what to tell me to do for her :-)

At the moment, Collin and I feel like we're her, for the lack of a better descriptive word, slave :) All day she would boss us around, making C going up and down the slide, then when she sits on him, she expects full attention and if he looks pass her at the tv, she would pull on his chin to turn his face to her and smile !  she also make him eat whatever she feeds him,

As for me, she always want to be held, to cuddle with. I'm OK with that. She would point to the bathtub every time we pass it and go "swosssh", like the sound of water. She loves to play with the water in the tub. When she's cranky I would put her in there with a small bucket of water and she'll entertain herself for at least an hour. Her new thing is drawing. She would draw and draw, flip over the pages and draw some more. Yesterday she was at it for 2 hours. It was awesome because it allows Collin and I time for ourselves - me washing dishes and him cleaning the kitchen :-)

At 1 and a half, Kaila is quite a girlie girl. She wants me to do her hair, put on dresses, and anything sparkly like shoes or bows. She would run to the mirror after I'm done and stare at herself !  She makes all kinds of faces and has the biggest smile on.

She likes her cartoons. In the morning we like to watch our news channel but the other day she gave us the remote control and point at it, as in "please change to the cartoon channel". I told her No, mommy want to watch this and she cried. She thew herself on the bed, head down and sob. Then feeling that I won't give in, she took the remote and try to change it herself. It didn't work but was worth a try, smart cookie !

I knew I lost his attention the moment she came cruising by, in her slim body and glossy hair.  I can see her  reflection in his eyes as he follow her every moves.  It's not the first time it happened.  How many times I don't know exact but surely more than I can count on my fingers and toes.

I wonder if he knows I know about this > let's call it > "addiction" of his ?  Being with him for so long, I can read his body language, see through his words and thinking like the I know the sun spots on my cheek !  None ever go unnoticed.  Many of times I can finish his sentence, singing outloud the same tune he's singing in his head and we both will laugh in awe of it.  So when his focus moveover from me to another, trust me, I know.

Often I wonder which one of those beautiful creatures are his type ?  there's the red head, the mean tough looking ebony body, the sassy slim white, the quiet, the loud, the short, the tall, the conversative type, the fancy bling bling, some old, some young...it seems he likes them all.  Whether they're passing by or standing still, they seem to be uneffected by his burning stare - yes stare, not glant, not peek, not a passing over, but a blunt stare !  I think they're used to be gawked at.  Only the person they're with seem to have that satisfying look on their face, the kind that say "I got what you want".

Every year we would go to a show so he can check out the latest models.  You wonder if I''m jealous ?  no not really.  I don't care much for them as they're not married to him, I am, so they got nothing on me.  I would tag along while he ooohh and aaaah from one body to the next.  I must admit some of them got really nice skin, smooth, perfect from every angle, no blemish, no acne scar, and many has a shimmering flecks of golds and silvers on their body.  Yes I won't lie, a few are quite gorgeous, no wonder men, and probably women too, want to covet them.

About a month ago, unannounced, he brought a white girl home.  I wasn't surprise.  Because I know him so I think mentally I was already prepared for this day to come.  I glanced out the window so see what she looks like when he walks her to our house.  She's alright.  Kinda petite and ordinary.  Nothing about her stands out to me except for the charm she wore on her neck.  I bet he's already planning a shopping spree for her.  Mark my word.

That night while I wait for him to come to bed, because he told me he is, he never came.  It's not like him so I went and search all over our house.  No sign of him.  Intuition told me to look outside and there he is, sitting with her in the dark, in the shadow of our maple tree.  Then he got out, ran his hand on her body, checking for imperfection, scratches or marks I believe. He has a big smile on his face.  I got annoyed so I shut the blind.

In all the days followed all I hear is her name and what he brought or planning to buy for her.  I wanted to run out and scratch all over her face just to shut him up.  I don't care if he's spending our money, just stop talking about her already !!!


Rain or shine, cold or warm, he would bathe her or spray her down after a ride.  Every Saturday they would go out for coffee together.  On nice day he would take her out for a ride even though they got no where to go.  Just like that, they would flirt in and out of our drive way, embracing each other in the hot sun or the pouring rain, while our daughter and I look on them from our window upstairs.  I should be upset but I'm not. Mercedes, her name, makes him happy and as one who loves him deeply, want him to be happy, I decided to let him be with her.  We just have to learn to share him.  She knows though, that I get to call all the shot so if she's misbehaving, she'll be taken to the dealer.

Why is it that everyone assumed because I'm pale I want to get a tan ? or should get a tan ? Does it ever occur to people that I actually don't care ? yeah, I like myself pasty white ! *insert audible gasp here* you can't believe it I know !!! and fyi, the correct word is FAIR skin. Haven't you heard ? Tanning is no longer in, it's so out with the recent rising cases of skin cancer. If you want to fake it or out baking your skin golden please go right ahead just please don't judge my skin. I know I'm pale, don't have to remind me. It's ok. I'm OK with it. Don't feel bad for me. I'm not unhappy that I'm fair. Much like you're not sad that you're not as pretty as *insert name whom you think is gorgeous here*. Also, thought I let you know that my health is in top shape despite my whiteness.

So, you are now thinking, "why does she like being fair ? so unhealthy looking", again, I'm healthy and are you that ignorant that you can't accept there are FAIR skin people in this world and that we're happy with it ? We are who we are ! No I'm not one of those vampirer asian that wears visor and gloves on sunny days to avoid being touched by sunlight. I'm a sun worshipper through and through. And no I don't believe in being white is royalty either (according many older generation vietnamese who believes white skin is high class and tanned is lower social class). I am fair because my mama is fair. God made us this way.  Our skin color is perfect fine.

Contrary to the impression my skin is giving out, sun deficiency, I love sunlight and do get out soaking it whenever it decides to make an appearance on the west coast.  My skin just don't TAN.  It's really hard for it to get that toasty brown tint of color. And I don't want to force it either you know, spending hours and hours to age my skin, make it leathery, cover it with sun spots and risk getting cancer. I care about my wellbeing, inside and out more than looking good temporary to whoever that set the standard that dark meat is better than white. I have bigger fish to fry than worrying about trivial thing like changing my skin color. When it's bright out I know I'm glowing white but that's just the way it is friends. I am what I am, winter, spring, summer and fall, as white as casper. Right now, for the first time in a long time, my skin is nice, not flawless, but nice enough that I can leave it bare and I want to keep it like this. Can't you, please for the sake of humanity, just leave my skin alone ? If my whiteness blinds you, turn away ! I do this to ignorant people all the time !!!