It's been a while since my last post ! Life kinda gets in the way :-) things are going well. I am now home full time, lots of things lead to this decision, but work politics surely motivated me to make the bold move. Originally, my plan was to go down to 2 days a week, to be home more with the kids. But I decided to leave before the new schedule kicked in. As you know I love my job but I can't keep up with the constant changes at work in management and uncleared directions. I made through the restructuring but the aftermath of it, even 2 years after, still lingers on with all those who stayed. Morale was low, I couldn't pull them up no matter how hard I tried. It's not my job anyways. What's hard is that I cannot go on being happy when people around me aren't. In the past 10 years, never once a day I woke up dreading work. The one day it happened and then again, I knew something is up. I think the start of me wanting to leave happened on the day one of our director gave her notice. I look up to her a lot and admire her creativity and how she is so passionate about what our organization is about. What she shared with me stuck with me. She said our organization isn't staying true to it's purpose. That made me sad because I love my work, and I love what we do for the community. Then a bunch of little things happened, more people left and more changes took place. I saw it coming, my end date, it's inevitable. I really thought I would retire here. One thing I learned is that we can never be so sure of things in life. Never ever be sure of things because we cannot predict even the next min. in our life. We might not change, but people and situations around us do, and that changes the dynamic of things. That's life friends !
In a way I am glad though, if that even makes sense, that things happened the way they did. The courses of events happened so I can be home full time with the kids. Now that I am home, I really wished I quit earlier. I feel a little guilty for loving my job too much. I didn't realize how much I am needed at home. Even just making lunch or watching them play, they love that I am there with them. And that makes me want to kick myself for missing a few years spent with them. I also know this is a privilege not a lot of people get and I am grateful for it. I am still trying to get use to setting schedule for each day and to take things slowly. My husband is worry I am might get burn out at home, as I am not one to sit around and rest. So far, I think I vacuum everyday, some day twice. I really need to learn to pace myself. My goal for the summer month is to have lots of fun with the kids at home, but also lots of quiet time for me to rest and allow the kids to have their "boring" moments. Those monotonous time are important in a child's development ! It's in that span of time, when there's nothing to do, that they will have to look inward to imagine, to create, to explore, and discover.
Other family news is C is now made principal at his architecture firm. He's a lot more busy but always home by dinner time and still make time to spend with the kids. He's got a good heart that one, a very considerate husband, father, manager and leader. I am super proud of him and believe that he will do well. Bee has her first crush ever ! and asked me if I had a crush before. I said yes, I liked a friend of mine but he didn't like me back. I told her, her crush might not like her the same way and it's OK. Not everyone will return our feeling. She said "yes, he might not like me, but I can like him because it's my feeling". Very wise that one. Lovebug is preparing for kindergarten and is very sassy and girly like always. She also has a short temper too so I am working with her, helping her to learn to express her feelings. Peanut, sweet destroyer of things, is talking now, lots of words and lots of expressions. He's particular, very particular, of things, from clothes to food to toys to what he wants to watch. I try to not give into him, despite his puppy dog eyes and big grin that reaches his eyes when he say "please mama". All in all, our kids are all well, play well, fight well, and sleep well.
Summer break starts in one day ! I have a few things planned and in between are lots of "no plan" slot where we can fill it with whatever we feel that day ! Hello summer ! hello sun ! hello blue sky !
