'Empowerboasting,' 'humblebragging' — the near-constant boasting in Facebook posts isn't really about putting out good vibes to our friends; it's advertising our insecurity.
The most common and insidious form of social-network bragging is the "humblebrag." These are boasts that are loosely disguised as self-deprecation — "Spilled coffee inside my Maserati. What a dope!" There are many more genres. For instance, the chest thumping-masquerading-as-self-esteem I call the "empowerboast." "Feeling so good about myself today. Realizing that I am beautiful and wise and deserved to be loved."
Some are so common, they're trite: the mom brag, the meal preparation brag, the posting-of-hot-photos-of-yourself brag.
Maybe, but here's what I think is really going on. We're a culture that can't distinguish positive thinking from hubris. We tell ourselves we're not bragging, just putting out good vibes. We're not putting the spotlight on ourselves, but rather spreading the light around so that others, too, will flourish in the glow.
Except that's crap. These aren't good vibes. They are advertisements for our insecurity. Posting a brag, humble or otherwise, and then waiting for people to respond is the equivalent of having a conversation in which all you do is wait for your turn to speak. That is to say, there's nothing to learn from it but we all do it at least occasionally.
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This article was written for me. I laugh out loud because it's so true. Hey, don't judge, we've all been there and done it on FB ! Would it be harsh to say we're a bit delusional if we think we didn't ? :-P
While we can't help ourselves from humble bragging (because sometime we're happy/proud and have to share ! & I do found pleasure in reading about others accomplishments & others traveling pic), we can, however, help minimize misunderstandings and overreactions when we update our status or when we read the newsfeed or snoop on other's timeline.
It happened to the best of us. When that one status update, that one simple line of text get so twisted, it has taken on a life of it's own. What the kale happened ?
We all been there ! where we were misunderstood, or we overreacted & misunderstood someone. Where we annoyed someone or someone annoyed us. It's too easy to jump into conclusion, to take it personal, when all we got is text to work with. Plain, emotionless, tasteless, and impersonal text, that we can bend it any way we want. We seasoned it with our own tone, emotion, expression, and unintentionally, we impose our feeling upon it.
I can type an average of 80+ words per minute !!! Impressive right ? I am one of those who are quick to share but never review what I just typed. I don't dwell too deep on what I wrote. And there lies my problem. I am misunderstood all the time :-/ Oh FB ! your "What's on your mind" line, like a friend's caring words, cause me to overly excited to share my thoughts, only to discover upon reading again, that my good intention didn't come through. Why did you fail to express my sarcastic tone and witty harmless personality ? why oh why !
Facebook is what you make it ! Try not to take it personal because many of times, it's never about you. Don't trust all you see and read :-) Not everyone is perfect or lead perfect lives (although we all try to make it look like that on FB). If you are hurt, call them up in person. Don't have their #, you're not real friends, then in that case, get over it. Try to play nice ! Don't judge ! because many of us don't know each other's history, background, obstacles, difficulties, and insecurities. Come on, let's be real :-) if we're lucky, 1% of our fb "friends" actually know us personally ! so let's think over before we type, think twice three times before we make a comment, and filter out what's good and what's trash.
When I update my status, they are simply what they are, no hidden agenda, not disguising as anything, not trying to imply anything. I am not skilled in the art of secretly attacking anyone. If you know me, you know me as a person who doesn't like to cause harm to anyone, or make mockery of anyone, or make anyone feel crappy. And I'm sorry if I've made you feel less than the great person you are, whoever you may be. If what I rant hit close to home, be assure that it's just pure coincidence. It's not about you. Don't make it about you. Please and thank you. If you're on FB, you have to accept the fact that well, anything can be taken as anything. Everyone gets mislabelled sometime. Everyone gets perceived as something they're not in one way or another. FBers will never fully get you ! You will brag ! You will be misunderstood ! That's just the way of online social media !!! You either sign up for all of it or opt out :)
